I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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