i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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