Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
