remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
