I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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