Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.

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  (203): walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers. http://tfl.nu/bvxk
  Replies (21) Good night (4438) Bad night (609)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.

  (1-514): View more from Quebec

  and?

  (514): View more from Quebec

  luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...

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  (514): so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother. (1-514): and? (514): luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne... http://tfl.nu/rdil
  Replies (48) Good night (4202) Bad night (946)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?

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  (325): just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish? http://tfl.nu/2ysn
  Replies (26) Good night (4079) Bad night (1019)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck

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  (610): all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck http://tfl.nu/mnqh
  Replies (49) Good night (1427) Bad night (7479)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?

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  (301): I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun? http://tfl.nu/ilq6
  Replies (3) Good night (2900) Bad night (1239)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me

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  (775): I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me http://tfl.nu/i130
  Replies (12) Good night (1620) Bad night (911)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out

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  (706): Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out http://tfl.nu/wj5z
  Replies (32) Good night (1920) Bad night (6083)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.

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  (269): I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police. http://tfl.nu/uj8w
  Replies (8) Good night (2877) Bad night (919)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.

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  (512): I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me. http://tfl.nu/lmi5
  Replies (5) Good night (1745) Bad night (1364)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water

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  (416): They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water http://tfl.nu/xb1j
  Replies (5) Good night (666) Bad night (1593)
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  (714): View more from California

  BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL

  (1-714): View more from California

  Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!

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  (714): BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL (1-714): Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky! http://tfl.nu/0qet
  Replies (5) Good night (1051) Bad night (695)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.

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  (618): You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there. http://tfl.nu/4ob2
  Replies (6) Good night (1101) Bad night (662)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.

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  (570): You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20. http://tfl.nu/twif
  Replies (2) Good night (647) Bad night (373)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.

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  (706): All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated. http://tfl.nu/hsx6
  Replies (2) Good night (1003) Bad night (365)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.

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  (316): He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me. http://tfl.nu/8ei9
  Replies (0) Good night (502) Bad night (391)

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