Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(804): View more from Virginia

Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here

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(804): Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here http://tfl.nu/obgo

Replies (3) Good night (909) Bad night (531)
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(248): View more from Michigan

Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.

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(248): Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up. http://tfl.nu/qfvl

Replies (16) Good night (861) Bad night (1733)
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(858): View more from California

Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.

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(858): Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life. http://tfl.nu/3r58

Replies (32) Good night (4993) Bad night (614)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys

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(781): They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys http://tfl.nu/3nq8

Replies (33) Good night (4844) Bad night (814)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!

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(732): Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?! http://tfl.nu/h8uq

Replies (10) Good night (799) Bad night (4434)
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(514): View more from Quebec

Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for

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(514): Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for http://tfl.nu/ftay

Replies (13) Good night (1203) Bad night (4353)
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(309): View more from Illinois

I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.

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(309): I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season. http://tfl.nu/pxkc

Replies (14) Good night (3555) Bad night (1199)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.

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(502): I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all. http://tfl.nu/o1tr

Replies (4) Good night (2469) Bad night (796)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again

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(843): We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again http://tfl.nu/w71h

Replies (23) Good night (960) Bad night (3423)
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(301): View more from Maryland

we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"

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(301): we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos" http://tfl.nu/vb8d

Replies (9) Good night (5291) Bad night (1331)
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(225): View more from Louisiana

I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am

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(225): I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am http://tfl.nu/iw2h

Replies (4) Good night (964) Bad night (1724)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself

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(843): I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself http://tfl.nu/cqdr

Replies (6) Good night (1817) Bad night (698)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them

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(651): It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them http://tfl.nu/2gqy

Replies (2) Good night (537) Bad night (331)
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(440): View more from Ohio

Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'

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(440): Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.' http://tfl.nu/rdeh

Replies (2) Good night (281) Bad night (402)
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(209): View more from California

Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds

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(209): Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds http://tfl.nu/gpe4

Replies (2) Good night (518) Bad night (324)

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