Texts From Last Night

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  (347): View more from New York

  the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant

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  (347): the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant http://tfl.nu/765y
  Replies (32) Good night (6142) Bad night (725)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.

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  (410): As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned. http://tfl.nu/df4g
  Replies (19) Good night (5933) Bad night (954)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.

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  (732): I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it. http://tfl.nu/c1o6
  Replies (5) Good night (2910) Bad night (2006)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.

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  (716): Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door. http://tfl.nu/u06r
  Replies (10) Good night (881) Bad night (2792)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?

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  (440): did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper? http://tfl.nu/1jid
  Replies (8) Good night (1396) Bad night (413)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.

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  (773): Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app. http://tfl.nu/h2ht
  Replies (1) Good night (1173) Bad night (362)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.

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  (920): Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night. http://tfl.nu/js17
  Replies (6) Good night (1329) Bad night (449)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.

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  (773): You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday. http://tfl.nu/8aa9
  Replies (4) Good night (1528) Bad night (474)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool

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  (778): He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool http://tfl.nu/x8lz
  Replies (5) Good night (1140) Bad night (406)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.

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  (406): You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock. http://tfl.nu/e7xz
  Replies (8) Good night (920) Bad night (413)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.

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  (843): Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now. http://tfl.nu/4hes
  Replies (3) Good night (340) Bad night (755)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.

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  (214): You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS. http://tfl.nu/zazd
  Replies (1) Good night (1465) Bad night (338)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.

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  (513): Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too. http://tfl.nu/c992
  Replies (4) Good night (910) Bad night (320)
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas

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  (308): I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas http://tfl.nu/d21x
  Replies (1) Good night (351) Bad night (177)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.

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  (609): I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is. http://tfl.nu/eqk8
  Replies (1) Good night (551) Bad night (516)

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