JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.