Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
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She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
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Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...