Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I want her autograph on my taint
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
