Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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