If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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