I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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