just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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