is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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