bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
