Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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