I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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