so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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