Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
