I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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