O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
