I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
