This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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