Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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