By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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