that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
