Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I looked at my own cervix.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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