how can u be prego again
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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