You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
