I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
