his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
pop tarts are not kleenex
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
