You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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