maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
