Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
