Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize