my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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