shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
