awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
