he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
