Only a mothe r could love this liver
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
