I wanna passion pit in your ass
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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