i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
my sisters under your porch take her home
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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