I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
