We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize