On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
