I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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