In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Randomize
