So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize