oh god the rape fog is back!
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
you win again, gameday.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
