you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize