I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
