You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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