I'm going to jail i love you
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
