no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
