Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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