I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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