I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
