Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Randomize
