if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
