even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
