How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
