shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
