Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
