wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize